December Again..

Its December again... only that I'm a bit late, its almost ending... we've already had our little Christmas celebration and plum cake... which was yummm tasty... but December is verrrrry chilly (wish I could..somehow...embed voice modulation in here...to show you the intensity with which I say 'very' ) irrespective of all the warmth around...

Somehow I don't seem to settle with the truth even after like a year or 9 months to be precise...or rather to say, i should have been in some kind of comfortable arrangement with the so called bitter truth all this time, since the starting...but somehow i'm too hopeful, beyond the reality...not anymore though...

So here I am, sitting by my heater, under the woolen sheets...listening to mellow sounds or heartbroken singers (at least like how i see them...nothing comes so beautiful unless something is actually experienced)...only if i had coffee..but that might actually take my sleep away....so i avoid it :P

except for the thoughts, endless thoughts which I can't avoid... and the trail of it...and trail of that...in the sun, when on sand...

now you must've understood mu disinterest in writing...so i'm gonna stop here till i come up with something better..

The Jugaadu’s Shaadi!

Every day is a new day. Every day is a new beginning. Every day brings along a new perspective. Every day, a new experience tends to hit you head on.

Have you ever appreciated the fact that each day in our life is a thing to really look forward to. Not many of us would have thought about it and for those who have, they might have just allowed this thought to cross their minds without leaving any kind of significant trace on the lanes of memory.

But one thing that always seem to leave a trace on our memories is the time that we spend with our near and dear ones, the time that we always tend to reminisce about, the time we would so wish to come back to us.

And one such occasion occurred very recently in my life, the essence of which has been brought out by none other than saty:

“wahi shaam ki mohakta, wahi raahon ka ishaara,
wahi ek manjil humari, wo shaant nehar ka kinara,
kinare per goonjati bas hum doston ki aawajein,
kuch khusion kuch gamon se bhari humari baatein,
wo haseen pal banke anmol aaj fir mahak uthe,                                                           
wo panchi bichde mile to aaj fir chahak uthe“

Indeed, it was a night to remember, not because we did something extraordinary and out of the blue thing, but sheerly because of revisiting the connect that we all so wish to feel again and again and which seems to grow in leaps and bounds with every such opportunity.

Usually, there is isn’t any topic in particular, that we tend to focus on, but yesterday courtesy another very dear friend whom we all call jugaadu (because of the talent that only he possesses), we all ended up discussingjugaadu ki shaadi.

I wonder if the older generation did the same as we somehow end up doing every now and then, not many would have got married. It is amazing to see how things evolve over time and how the thought process tends to change with every generation assimilating and accomodating the newly evolved opinions and ideas.

It is true that deciding upon whom you would want to spend your entire life with, can indeed be a mindblogging decision, considering the inherent subjectivity involved in the whole process and also because the criteria of an ideal partner has changed over time.

Presumably, that was the reason why our ancestors left it as a matter of fate over which no one seems to have control over and which has already been decided by someone up there.

Whatever might be the sweet will of the Almighty, one thing that goes a long way in keeping up a healthy relationship with your better half and if I take the liberty of representing that one thing in the form of an equation, then it would go somewhat like this:

Healthy Relationship = Commitment * Compromise

The above is not a guarantee or a turn key solution to all woes encountered, but surely it can and will lead to maintaining a better relationship in times to come.

Marriages are indeed made in Heaven. The thing that needs to be done here on Planet Earth is to savour it the way it is supposed to be at the same nurture the very foundations of a healthy relationship.

Somehow all the Jugaad tends to fail and only genuine efforts result in bonhomie and a successful relationship. I hope someone is listening  .

OMG!

After a long time, I have had the pleasure of watching one of the most meaningful of movies I have ever seen. With such a versatile actor as Paresh Rawal to adorn the star cast, the movie is in all senses a must watch.

What amazes me the most is the manner in which  a mystical concept such as God is presented and catered to in such a rational and logical manner. It is indeed a blow to the many gurus and sadhus who claim to be representatives of the Almighty on Planet Earth.

The sheer grit and simplicity of the protagonist is depicted in a very non-partisan and in an unusual way at the same time upholding the integrity of middle class values and essence of life.

All in all, I would recommend all of you, if you haven’t watched the movie till date, to go and watch it, for there is something for each and every one of us to learn and admire from the movie.

Source for Image:http://searchandhra.com/hindi-movies/omg-oh-my-god-hindi-movie

Love and Arranged Marriages

It is often said that Marriages are made in Heaven. True! But many of us do not understand the deep seeded meaning in this saying. Many generally comprehend it as a different flavour of the intended meaning that Marriages are pious and they are related to the religious and traditional aspects of the persons involved in it. 
But the intended meaning is that the establishment of the bond of Marriage between two persons is beyond human control and decision. What ever is beyond the comprehension and control of humans, generally it is put in the hands of the Almighty. True it is, as two persons who had never met each other before are now to spend the entirety of their life with each other, as a couple, taking part in each others happiness and sadness equally. Bearing a child, becoming parents and then seeing them getting married and find a new life. It is a full circle.

Right from the time when my mind had started to think logically and debating was one of the media for a full scale discussion to place the pros and cons of two sides of a topic, the debate of - "Which one is better, Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage" has been on the top. Now, we as teenagers used to jump at this exciting opportunity and Love being a strange and forbidden fruit, used to take the side of the same in terms of Marriage. There were a few under the "Arranged" Category, generally treated as the orthodox types. We used to cite the reasoning like Love marriage is the best as it brings two people in love and ready to accept each other for the rest of the life,  it can be the only way one should be married, and other naive ones. Little we knew as 13-14 year teenagers, what really is a marriage and how marriage been it had resulted by Love or Arrangement, has nothing to do with the life after. Somethings are to be understood with age. So thought we. We never did.


How Love Marriage happens? You are at the right place at the right time doing the right things. Then and there, you meet a person. You like the look and feel of that person. Someone initiates, you talk. You like that. Then you converse. Time goes on. First friendship and then soon sparks fly in the air between you both. You feel love and if the other person reciprocates the same feelings and behavior  you both fall in love. So, till now what were the factors involved here: personal attributes, spoken items and time spent together in public domain. In the entire matter, there certainly is a factor of opportunity, chance, fate and ultimately destiny. Now if everything goes on fine in a complex society like we have here, it results in a Marriage.

How Arrange Marriage happens? You reach an appropriate age. Your parents start looking for alliances for a suitable groom or bride keeping in mind certain parameters like religion, caste, sub-caste, gotra, age, height, weight, education, family, parent's occupation, location, dowry(I strongly and publicly denounce this practice, but had to mention as it is one of the factors) etc.. You look for profiles via various media channels, Internet, newspapers and ,last but not the least, word of mouth. After a long haul you shortlist few of the profiles. You start communicating with the point of contacts. If everything goes fine a date is fixed for the engagement and then the marriage.

The dissimilarities end here.

In both the cases, the life after marriage traverses the same path. Living together after Marriage is a completely different ball game. Love generated between the couple, before or after the marriage has the same value and effect. Understanding, co-operation, compromises, standing by each other's decisions, tuning one's ego according to the spouse, sacrifices for the greater good for the life together, life's tough decisions: All these can only be encountered and experienced after the couple starts a new life and start living and sharing together. So a love which resulted in a marriage gives no guarantee of enduring all the above challenges better than the arrangement which caused two different people to combine as a couple. Also it can be said without contest that couples in a love marriage get a head start of a significant amount, as they knew and understood each other well before the marriage. But after a time span of cohabitation, couples belonging to both the kinds of Marriage reach a level ground.

There is a message for all the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes out there. If you have any inhibitions against a kind of Marriage, lose them! If you are confused as your mind and heart is biased towards a kind of marriage, then you must know that Marriage is something you can only know about when you are in it. For all those out there who were blessed by the Almighty and were destined to meet their love before their marriage, challenges and joys are in store for them in the married life to come. If you did not find your love, or you were not loved before Marriage, be confident, you will find the same joys and challenges with the person you will be arranged to get married with. The only thing which can lead you to happiness after marriage is the confidence and faith in your spouse, you generate.

I wish all the folks out there, getting married, in the process of getting married or already married, the best for the life to come!!

Zara....!!

The following lyrics speak to me...look into my soul while I shed a tear or three


Zara nazar utha ke dekho
baithe hai hum yahi
bekhabar mujhse kyon ho
itne bure bhi hum nahi

teri ankhon ka jaadu
poori duniya pe hai
duniya ki is bheed mein
sabse peeche hum khade

zamaane ki baaton mein uljho na
hai yeh asaan jaan na
khud se agar tum pucho
hai hum tumhare ki nahi

teri ankhon ka jaadu
poori duniya pe hai
duniya ki is bheed mein
sabse peeche hum khade

mehfilein aayi aur gayi
log aaye aur gaye
tum jo aaj aaye ho
dil mein ho bas gaye

muskura ke baat taalo na
phir miloge jo kahi
dekhna yahi kahoge
itne bure the hum nahi

teri ankhon ka jaadu
poori duniya pe hai
duniya ki is bheed mein
sabse peeche hum khade

Wishes O Wishes..

I wish Love didn't have innumerable definitions..I would have liked to define it for myself
I want there to be no right or wrong..I want to make that choice for myself
I dream that the terms orthodox and unorthodox die a silent death...and then I would go down this unbeaten path myself
These subtle difference..these daunting parallels..I wish to eliminate them...if not from this universe then from my life at last..

This is how I love you..

I don't love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,

or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:

I love you as one loves certain dark things,

Secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries

the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,

and thanks to your love the tight aroma that rose,

from the earth lives in my body in darkness.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where

I love you directly without problems or pride

I love you like this because I don't know any other way to love

Except in this form in which I'm not nor are you,

so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,

so close that your eyes close with my dreams

Pablo Neruda